The Bible has a great deal to say about dating. This study gathers passages from across Scripture and sets them out for reading and reflection.
What Scripture Says
Scripture does not use the word “dating,” but it speaks directly to the desires, decisions, and dangers that dating involves. The Bible begins with the truth that companionship is God’s design: “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him” (Genesis 2:18). Dating is one way people pursue that good gift, but Scripture warns that desire must be governed by God’s order, not merely by feeling. The Song of Solomon celebrates love—“Behold, thou art fair, my love” (Song of Solomon 4:1)—yet it also cautions, “I charge you, O ye daughters of Jerusalem, that ye stir not up, nor awake my love, till he please” (Song of Solomon 8:4). Love is precious and powerful, and it has a God-given time and context.
The Bible consistently treats the heart as the source of both our greatest devotion and our greatest danger. “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life” (Proverbs 4:23). That is why Scripture tells us, “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths” (Proverbs 3:5–6). Dating decisions are not exempt from this. A believer is called to “be not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14). The deepest bond of a life is not a matter of indifference; it shapes worship, obedience, and the direction of one’s whole life.
Scripture also calls for purity and self-control, not merely in actions but in thoughts and desires. Jesus said, “But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart” (Matthew 5:28). Paul writes, “Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body” (1 Corinthians 6:18). And again, “For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication” (1 Thessalonians 4:3). Dating is not a license for sin; it is a setting in which holiness must be practiced.
Finally, the Bible reframes all relationships around love and covenant faithfulness. “Let all your things be done with charity” (1 Corinthians 16:14). “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers” (2 Corinthians 6:14) is not a call to fear, but to wisdom. And “Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God” (1 Corinthians 10:31). That includes how we date, whom we pursue, and how we treat one another.
Living It Out
Practically, this means dating should be pursued with prayer, honesty, and boundaries. Before you pursue someone, ask whether that person loves Christ and whether you can honor God together. Be clear about your intentions, guard your time alone, and invite wise believers to speak into your life. Purity is not just avoiding certain acts; it is directing your thoughts, words, and affections toward what honors God. If you are dating, let your relationship be marked by kindness, patience, and self-control. If you are not, use this season to grow in Christ and in godly friendships rather than treating singleness as a problem to be solved.
Reflection
- Are you seeking a relationship primarily to satisfy your own desires, or are you asking God to direct your heart and your steps according to His Word?
- In your current friendships or dating relationships, do your words, boundaries, and choices show that you are more concerned with pleasing Christ than with pleasing people?